Captain Red Rum
Captain Red Rum & The Pina Colada Armada is the sixth episode of Dick Figures Season 2 and the Sixteenth episode of Dick Figures. It follows Red and Blue as pirates is looking for mermaids. Plot Red and Blue make dat ass kraken in a high seas showdown with Pink's bountiful treasures. Dick Figures was created by Ed Skudder, who wrote, directed and voiced the episode along with Zack Keller Transcript (On a pirate ship) Red: ♪Ohhh, 13 flies in a dead man's balls sack, 14 holes in a seagull's kayak, 15 spots on the Mask of Rorschach! Earlye in the morning.♪ Avast ye, mate-ster. Shiver me portside and Buckle-swash the poop deck. Blue: You have no idea what you're talking about, do you? Red: Nope. Blue: How can you like being a pirate? Don't you get seasick all the time? Red: Hogwash! (throws up) (Normal voice) That's just how I sneeze. (Pirate voice) Ahoy, wenches! Blast due southward! Wenches: Aye-aye, Captain Red Rum! Purple Wench: Piña colada, Lieutenant Blue Balls? Blue: (sighs and drinks it) (while thinking) Piña coladas, whatever, what a girly drink, this is really good. (ends thinking) Red: Arr, matey, once we find a ♪real live mermaid♪, we'll be rich and famous! And handsome! Blue: Aaand, how are we supposed to find one? (Red shows a fishing pole with a worm on the hook) Blue: Really? Red: (Casting the line into the water) Yarrr. And now we wait. Red: (Peering through binoculars) HARK! Up the Starbucks bow! (a ship full of women approaches. The captain is Pink.) Red: Hmm, 'tain't mermaids... (pirate voice) AVAST YE, SCURVY BITCHES! Pink: AVAST YE, FUCKNUTS! YOU'RE IN OUR WATERS! NOW, GIVE US YOUR GOLD! Red: YOU'RE IN OUR WATERS! NOW, SHOW US ALL YOUR BOOBS! Pink: NAY! HAND OVER YOUR PLUNDER! Red: NAY! REVEAL YOUR TEATS! Pink: FORK UP THE DOUBLOON! Red: LET FLY YOUR MELONS! Pink: GIVE US THE LOOT! Red: GAZONGAAAAS! Pink: NEVER! Red: FIRE! (Both ships exchange fire and Pink's ship sinks) Red: Hahahahaha! To Davy Jones' arse with ye! Blue: Holy shit, dude! Did you just kill my girlfriend?! Red: Pssh, no. 'Tain't official yet. (Shows Blue's Facester page awaiting confirmation that Blue is in a relationship with Pink) Blue: Any minute now. Any minute. (Shows ship. Someone sings while line is being pulled) Red: Mermaid! Blue: Mermaid? Raccoon: Sashimi! Lord Tourettes (as the mermaid): Hahaha! Whoa! Why hello, young SEMEN! Red: 'Tis an ugly mermaid. (Lord Tourettes giggles) Raccoon: I would not eat-a the sushi. Lord Tourettes: (falls on deck and gets a pair of human legs) Hahaha! All: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Blue: OH MY GOD! HE'S GROWING A....! Lord Tourettes: Oh, splendid! Now, I'm a real boy! Red & Blue: SEA DEMON! Red: Kill him! (Red shoots Lord Tourettes with a pistol, Racoon throws his meat cleaver at him, Blue pulls a string for the anchor which hits Lord Tourettes who falls into the water and gets chased by sharks.) Lord Tourettes: (drowning)...FUCK!...(more drowning) Blue: Well, we found the mermaid. Can we go home now? Red: Nay! Because, now we're HANDSOME! Blue: What?! Red: Wenches, MORE PIÑA COLADAS! (Grabs Blue's piña colada and drinks it) Blue: Hey, that's mine! Red: ♪IF YOU LIKE PIÑA♪-- -Episode ends- Recurring Gags Autotuned/Unautotuned Singing Red sings a shanty at the start and 'Pina Coladas' at the end. Mermaid singing is heard when they got the bite. Red Floating When Red says Hogwash and "sneezes" he appears to float. Episode Ending The "I"s in "Dick Figures" were replaced by piña coladas The Last Line Being Cut Red was singing "Piña Coladas", first sung at the end of "Attack of the Pwns" Trivia *This is the second time Red dresses like a pirate, the first time was in Role Playas. *"Piña Coladas" is the title of the song that Red sang in "Attack of the Pwns". Trivia *This is the first time Pink dies. *When Red mentions "15 spots on the mask of Rorschach", he references the hero of the same name from "Watchmen". *The women in this episode might be the ones from A Bee or Something. *The episode unveiled the musical score soundtrack of Dick Figures Season 1 on iTunes. *This is the second time Red, Blue, and Pink are in a fantasy world, the first time being Role Playas. *This is the first episode where all of the main characters are involved. *Facester is a parody of Facebook and Friendster. Even though there is a website named Facester, it is not a social networking site. *Red's, Blue's, and Lord Tourettes' icon are the same as Twitter icon, only usernames are not the same. *This is the fourth time the thumbnail didn't feature Red, Blue or both. *This is the first time the "I"s have been replaced by something circular instead of something rectangular or oblong. *Blue's wallpaper in his desktop are the turtles having sex. *Red's ship logo is the same one of his ship in, Attack of the Pwns. *The woman who hit Red with a beer bottle in Panda Hat appears again in this episode on Pink's ship. *When we see Blue's Facester page the URL is www.facester.com/friendrequests.poop *Red Rum spelled backwards is "Murder", which is a reference to the movie, "The Shining". *Red's pirate outfit is the same costume in Role Playas. * Video thumb|344px|right Category:Episodes Category:Season 2